I love calling people nerds even though I’m the actual fucking nerd.
"I fuckin hate nerds" I whisper as i walk around a convention in full cosplay
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING
i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid
I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face
i cant really even imagine having a penis because vaginas dont really stick out or anything like sometimes i even forget my genitals are there i just forget but like a penis seems so?????? obstructive??? like damn aint ur penis in the way all the time????
fun fact about me: i was born on 4/20 at 4:20
did you know when you suddenly jerk awake while falling asleep, another version of you from a different timeline just died
This post fucked me up.
It’s actually because you’re heart rate decreased so quickly that you’re brain jerks you awake to make sure you’re still alive.
i dont know wHICH ONE IS WORSE